Worst Acting

Cody Horn - Magic Mike

" I believe you know my father, the inventor of toaster strudel..."

When acting this terrible comes along, it usually follows 1 of the 3 reasons untalented actresses get work.  1) They slept with someone.  2) They are related to someone.  3) They are an international music star.  Not coincidentally, every worst actress on this list follows one of those 3 rules.

When your dad is a major player in Hollywood, you are afforded certain perks, like discount coffee, backstage passes, and lead acting parts in major Hollywood films.  As the love interest of Channing Tatum's Mike, Cody is given the task of conveying the confliction her character feels toward the guy she likes being a stripper.  Just how bad is she in this movie?  When you type Cody Horn in to Google search, Google predicts that you are going to end up typing Cody Horn Magic Mike Bad.  Even Google knows she sucks.  Between her constantly making stupid faces and laughing like Ed, the mentally challenged hyena from Lion King, she actually manages to be outacted by the kid from I Am Number Four.  She was the least watchable thing in a movie where men were constantly taking off their clothes.

Diego Boneta - Rock of Ages

Peek-a-boo!!

Not all bad performances in a movie have to be cringeworthy and make you uncomfortable.  They could just simply be so laughably forgettable and absent that they warrant comment.  Diego's Drew would fall into that latter category.  He is supposed to be portraying a rock star, but has so little screen presence that you begin to question why they didn't just get a young rock star instead.  Even his singing opportunities, which in a musical are kinda important, don't have any power behind them.  Add to that the fact that he has zero chemistry with his costar, Julianne Hough, and you have the steaming pile of excrement that was Diego's performance.

Jeremy Renner - The Avengers

Can you do one more without looking into the camera?

Sometimes bad performances can happen to really good actors, as is the case here. Renner's Hawkeye isn't so much bad as it is terribly underdeveloped and one note.  He becomes the guy with the bow and arrow instead of a character whose fate we actually care about.  Some of the problems stem from the writing, since its rather difficult to develop a character who spends much of the first half of the movie as a possessed body, but even after that, Renner does nothing to set his character apart and make us care. His screen time with the Black Widow left me with more of a feeling of when can I see the other Avengers that matter to me and not with a feeling of caring about what was going on.

Kristen Stewart - Snow White and the Huntsman

This is her angry face.  And her sad face.  And her happy face.  And her...

There are things that most humans have which are called emotions.  Humans have developed the ability to convey these emotions through the manipulation of their facial muscles.  I should say most humans have developed this ability.  Kristen Stewart has made a career of biting her lip and twirling her hair and staring off at nothing.  Her attempt at an inspiring speech at the end of the movie may be the least inspiring thing I have ever seen on film, and I have seen Rollerball.  In fact, I should award all of the extras who had to listen to her give that speech the award for best acting, cause how they weren't all rolling their eyes and falling on their swords is beyond me.

Rihanna - Battleship

If this is why he hit her, I kinda understand.

How is it possible to be terrible in a part where all you have to do is look scared and every few minutes shout a line?  I will grant her that the script did her absolutely no favors.  She had 68 lines in the movie and 40 of them were 3 words or less, and ranging in content from shouting about coordinates to shouting about KFC.  With that said though, its no ones fault but your own when you cant convey terror or confusion and I realize the movie is big and loud and dumb, but you don't have to shout every line like you are in a crowd of Will Ferrells.

Taylor Kitsch - John Carter

"I can't act?  Friday Night Lights is on Netflix.  Go ahead, I'll wait."

Taylor had the opportunity to be bad in 3 movies this year, and he seized that opportunity and made it his bitch.  So why pick on John Carter and not the other 2?  Cause I wanted to pick on this dialogue between Taylor and an alien.

John Carter: You got me. I surrender. 
Tars Tarkas: [Fist on his chest] Jeddak. 
John Carter: Jeddak? 
Tars Tarkas: Jeddak. Tars Tarkas. 
John Carter: Tars... Tarkas. 
[Tars smiles] 
John Carter: Captain John Carter. Virginia. 
Tars Tarkas: Vor... ginya. 
[Points at John] 
Tars Tarkas: Vorginya! 
John Carter: No. My name is John Carter, I'm from Virginia. 
Tars Tarkas: [Continues to point at John] Virginia. 

  

The only thing that would make that cringeworthy dialogue worse would be an actor who chose to deliver the lines like this.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJrs11fLq14  That is a perfect storm of suckage.